OFFICIAL 2013 BOOPER FINAL PROJECTED STANDINGS
Greetings F bags. I return to this blog site to inform you of what is about to occur this season in BBL. Here is the season outlook:
16) Finishing in dead last will be the Polapandas. Lets face it, Roll Panda never worked out. This team is a consistent bottom feeder due to pitiful management and the most consistent bad luck in Booper history. Also, this team has changed their name one too many times for my liking. This guy needs to man up and attend a live draft instead of cowering in Orlando aka the worst place on Earth.
15) Bad News Kennels- Again, another perennial bottom feeder in Booper. What is interesting to note is that in most of Justin's other leagues, he is a well respected owner. I guess we can compare him to Tim Couch. Great college QB and a pathetic pro QB. Sometimes I think this league may be a little too big for him. As we all know the pressure can get to an owner quickly. Most NFL coaches have 3 years to turn a team around. This is the Kennels third year of existence...could we see a new owner in 2014? Lets hope not...as we all remember I destroyed this squad 224-62 last year.
14) Wild Green Thunder- Man this is embarrassing. I can't believe I am related to this guy. What is he thinking year in and year out??? How can he keep making the same mistakes OVER AND OVER AGAIN? Don't get me wrong, the dbags are not perfect (keeping Reggie Bush/ Peyton when he missed a year, trading Calvin Johnson for Braylon Edwards) but we have learned from past mistakes. Green Thunder, you were really close to coming in at 16th on our list. Honestly, these bottom three teams could all come in last next year...they are each equally managed so poorly that it is nearly impossible to distinguish who will be more pitiful.
13) Weyers Cave Wompats- F this guy. He got lucky when he won his championship, and AWW he is such a big tough guy beating up on the poor little dbag team lead by Mark Sanchez and Jabar Gaffney. This guy is an illiterate slob and I hate his guts. He belongs down here at 13.
12) Southside Shredders- For some reason this guy is the most respected team in Booper. Shredder Sense??? What the F is that? If it existed at one point, it certainly is not being used now. This guy is consistently a 5-7 win team. It is about time we start disrespecting this guy. Perhaps that is what he needs to succeed. We keep talking him up as a great owner and he is one of the most unaccomplished people on the planet.
11) Nastyville Neanderthals - This guy should be ashamed of himself. He is one of the all-time leaders in Booper regular season wins, but has the same amount of playoff victories as the Kennels. F this guy, F his team, F Matty Ice. I think last year was just the beginning for this piece of crap. This is the start of a 10 year dark period or "extinction" if you will for the Neanderthals.
10) Denver Dirty Hippies - The Commish will finally stop sneaking into the playoffs. I am tired of hearing about all of his championship losses. I would honestly rather be the Polapandas or Kennels and not even make it than being about to break the Buffalo Bills 4 Superbowl loss record. This guy has had waaaay too much luck on his side. It is about time this F face gets a dose of reality. He will not make the playoffs. Perhaps this will shut him up. This piece of tird has fallen ass backward into too many playoff games. F hippies.
9) Stuarts Draft Snuggie Squad- F the Snuggies first of all. They do not even sell them at Bed Bath and Beyond anymore. There are a has been product just like the Snuggie Squad. Besides 2012, Snuggies have never been a "good" team. It is time for them to get back to their mediocre roots.
8) Youngtown Yac Masters - This will be a repeat playoff season for the Yac. Rave Dave has been hanging out with assistant special teams coaches for the Baltimore Ravens in the off season. Perhaps this will guide him to another playoff appearance. Where is Youngtown by the way? Probably close to F Burg and Assville.
7) Ciros Pizza Parade- Lets face it, you were one and done with the Rampage. You will never win again until you assume that team name. Keep Pizza time though, because Ciros is the official pizza sponsor of the BBL.
6) Plushville Power - This guy kind of pissed off Bag nation last year. A new guy came in and made the playoffs. Of course he did not win the division because a beast team had it locked down all year. I wanted to see him come in last but after a few conversations with him, I think he will make the playoffs and be one and done. I respect him, but only a little bit. Stupid logo. A baseball bat? F him.
5) Waynesboro Morning Eagles - I put this team here because he is consistently in this range. He is always "pretty good." I can see this guy keeping Calvin Johnson this year which will win him a few games on his own. Other than that, I see this as a typical successfully disappointing season for the Eagle. He will make the playoffs and get upset by some pitiful team. I could also see this guy coming in last due to wedding happenings. We will see how this plays out.
4) Warrior Chickens - I am tired of this F winning all the hardware. Granted, two of the trophies are horse asses, but that is still pretty cool. Admit it, you have thought about holding that wobbling horse ass above your head in triumph while nobody is watching. IF you do not win the championship, what better way to cap off the season? This team will be back again in 2013, but I think the luck has run out on this JERK owner.
3) South Beach Ballers- This guy has Aaron Rodgers on his team. He is bound to make a playoff run this season. I can not stand South Beach. F Lebron and F Miami. Southbeach will be "bringing the heat" this season, but will lose unexpectedly to a far greater opponent, more than likely that opponent will be myself. I am getting AJ Green this year ya JERK. PS D-bags are not worse than the Knicks in the playoffs. That comment was uncalled for and frankly I am hurt.
2) Moscow Commissars- This guy could win his second championship this season but I forsee him starting out hot, changing his name for no apparent reason and sputtering into the playoffs. The mid season name changing will be the end of his championship hopes in 2013. F this guy...why would anyone need to know spanish in South Dakota....maybe I will get a job teaching people to speak Canadian in New Mexico next year.
1) All American Mega Douchebags (Bags) - You guessed it; the D-bags will rebound from their "Dream Team" and put together a team worthy of wearing a Bag uniform. For F's sake I set the single season scoring record, the single game scoring record (TWICE), won my division, and still did not win MVP. That crap is rigged anyways. The Bags fully accept that we will never win an MVP award simply because we are that dominant and therefore HATED. I am getting the last spot on the front of the trophy. I will also be doing a few modifications to the trophy. Already planned out. One last thing, you may want to start booking your hotels for the D-Bag championship parade which is scheduled for Christmas Day once we return from Moscow.
Hope you all enjoyed my accurate final standings. These standings were predicted by math, science, the Elias Sports Bureau and of course Magic. The standings are brought to you in part by....Bud Light, Wal-Mart, and Withkins Trouse Lager "It's like the Hoover Dam....In a Can!"
Greetings F bags. I return to this blog site to inform you of what is about to occur this season in BBL. Here is the season outlook:
16) Finishing in dead last will be the Polapandas. Lets face it, Roll Panda never worked out. This team is a consistent bottom feeder due to pitiful management and the most consistent bad luck in Booper history. Also, this team has changed their name one too many times for my liking. This guy needs to man up and attend a live draft instead of cowering in Orlando aka the worst place on Earth.
15) Bad News Kennels- Again, another perennial bottom feeder in Booper. What is interesting to note is that in most of Justin's other leagues, he is a well respected owner. I guess we can compare him to Tim Couch. Great college QB and a pathetic pro QB. Sometimes I think this league may be a little too big for him. As we all know the pressure can get to an owner quickly. Most NFL coaches have 3 years to turn a team around. This is the Kennels third year of existence...could we see a new owner in 2014? Lets hope not...as we all remember I destroyed this squad 224-62 last year.
14) Wild Green Thunder- Man this is embarrassing. I can't believe I am related to this guy. What is he thinking year in and year out??? How can he keep making the same mistakes OVER AND OVER AGAIN? Don't get me wrong, the dbags are not perfect (keeping Reggie Bush/ Peyton when he missed a year, trading Calvin Johnson for Braylon Edwards) but we have learned from past mistakes. Green Thunder, you were really close to coming in at 16th on our list. Honestly, these bottom three teams could all come in last next year...they are each equally managed so poorly that it is nearly impossible to distinguish who will be more pitiful.
13) Weyers Cave Wompats- F this guy. He got lucky when he won his championship, and AWW he is such a big tough guy beating up on the poor little dbag team lead by Mark Sanchez and Jabar Gaffney. This guy is an illiterate slob and I hate his guts. He belongs down here at 13.
12) Southside Shredders- For some reason this guy is the most respected team in Booper. Shredder Sense??? What the F is that? If it existed at one point, it certainly is not being used now. This guy is consistently a 5-7 win team. It is about time we start disrespecting this guy. Perhaps that is what he needs to succeed. We keep talking him up as a great owner and he is one of the most unaccomplished people on the planet.
11) Nastyville Neanderthals - This guy should be ashamed of himself. He is one of the all-time leaders in Booper regular season wins, but has the same amount of playoff victories as the Kennels. F this guy, F his team, F Matty Ice. I think last year was just the beginning for this piece of crap. This is the start of a 10 year dark period or "extinction" if you will for the Neanderthals.
10) Denver Dirty Hippies - The Commish will finally stop sneaking into the playoffs. I am tired of hearing about all of his championship losses. I would honestly rather be the Polapandas or Kennels and not even make it than being about to break the Buffalo Bills 4 Superbowl loss record. This guy has had waaaay too much luck on his side. It is about time this F face gets a dose of reality. He will not make the playoffs. Perhaps this will shut him up. This piece of tird has fallen ass backward into too many playoff games. F hippies.
9) Stuarts Draft Snuggie Squad- F the Snuggies first of all. They do not even sell them at Bed Bath and Beyond anymore. There are a has been product just like the Snuggie Squad. Besides 2012, Snuggies have never been a "good" team. It is time for them to get back to their mediocre roots.
8) Youngtown Yac Masters - This will be a repeat playoff season for the Yac. Rave Dave has been hanging out with assistant special teams coaches for the Baltimore Ravens in the off season. Perhaps this will guide him to another playoff appearance. Where is Youngtown by the way? Probably close to F Burg and Assville.
7) Ciros Pizza Parade- Lets face it, you were one and done with the Rampage. You will never win again until you assume that team name. Keep Pizza time though, because Ciros is the official pizza sponsor of the BBL.
6) Plushville Power - This guy kind of pissed off Bag nation last year. A new guy came in and made the playoffs. Of course he did not win the division because a beast team had it locked down all year. I wanted to see him come in last but after a few conversations with him, I think he will make the playoffs and be one and done. I respect him, but only a little bit. Stupid logo. A baseball bat? F him.
5) Waynesboro Morning Eagles - I put this team here because he is consistently in this range. He is always "pretty good." I can see this guy keeping Calvin Johnson this year which will win him a few games on his own. Other than that, I see this as a typical successfully disappointing season for the Eagle. He will make the playoffs and get upset by some pitiful team. I could also see this guy coming in last due to wedding happenings. We will see how this plays out.
4) Warrior Chickens - I am tired of this F winning all the hardware. Granted, two of the trophies are horse asses, but that is still pretty cool. Admit it, you have thought about holding that wobbling horse ass above your head in triumph while nobody is watching. IF you do not win the championship, what better way to cap off the season? This team will be back again in 2013, but I think the luck has run out on this JERK owner.
3) South Beach Ballers- This guy has Aaron Rodgers on his team. He is bound to make a playoff run this season. I can not stand South Beach. F Lebron and F Miami. Southbeach will be "bringing the heat" this season, but will lose unexpectedly to a far greater opponent, more than likely that opponent will be myself. I am getting AJ Green this year ya JERK. PS D-bags are not worse than the Knicks in the playoffs. That comment was uncalled for and frankly I am hurt.
2) Moscow Commissars- This guy could win his second championship this season but I forsee him starting out hot, changing his name for no apparent reason and sputtering into the playoffs. The mid season name changing will be the end of his championship hopes in 2013. F this guy...why would anyone need to know spanish in South Dakota....maybe I will get a job teaching people to speak Canadian in New Mexico next year.
1) All American Mega Douchebags (Bags) - You guessed it; the D-bags will rebound from their "Dream Team" and put together a team worthy of wearing a Bag uniform. For F's sake I set the single season scoring record, the single game scoring record (TWICE), won my division, and still did not win MVP. That crap is rigged anyways. The Bags fully accept that we will never win an MVP award simply because we are that dominant and therefore HATED. I am getting the last spot on the front of the trophy. I will also be doing a few modifications to the trophy. Already planned out. One last thing, you may want to start booking your hotels for the D-Bag championship parade which is scheduled for Christmas Day once we return from Moscow.
Hope you all enjoyed my accurate final standings. These standings were predicted by math, science, the Elias Sports Bureau and of course Magic. The standings are brought to you in part by....Bud Light, Wal-Mart, and Withkins Trouse Lager "It's like the Hoover Dam....In a Can!"
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