Applicant 4

1.      Who, if you were to enter the league, would you install as your teams archrival?

I would immediately install all teams within my division as archrivals. I would consider each and every team within the booper bare league as rivals, but it is those of my division that I plan to conquer and hate.

2.      Have you ever won a fantasy championship in your career?

I have won two fantasy championships within the past six years. I only participate in one or two leagues a year to ensure that my time and wisdom is focused on winning a championship. Winning a fantasy Championship is just as rewarding as winning a Super Bowl or being elected President of the United States.

3.      Do you view Matt Ryan as a franchise quarterback?

There are many words to describe Matt Ryan and Franchise quarterback is not one of them. I have had the unfortunate opportunity to have seen scum bag play in person three times. Each game I have mocked him from my seat and have watched him continuously lose games for the Falcons. Knowing what we know now, I still would take Ryan Leaf or Tim Couch over Matt Ryan as my quarterback. Either one of those guys could put up more than two points against the Giants in the playoffs! Come on Mr. Ryan, grow some balls. You will never win a playoff game or a fantasy championship with this douche at the helm.

4.      Can you handle Booper and having to go 16 teams deep?

The more teams the better. 16 team leagues are the ultimate challenge for fantasy football players and I look forward to the quest. Knowing your football and analyzing stats have helped me find sleepers deep in the draft each and every year.

5.      How would you describe your football ideology? Keep the answer to 1 paragraph or less. Extra points if you can keep it to 3 words or less.

Homo Romo!

6.      Would you keep Reggie Bush?

Yes, simply because who else is going to make plays for the Dolphins offense? Matt Moore, Chad Henne, the unknown 7^th round receiver they will draft this year? I don’t think so. Reggie Bush is about to break out in 2012.

7.      On a scale of 1-10 how much ass does Tom Brady suck?

Brady sucks ass bad. Whether it is his love of the Justin Bieber hair cut or the way he always complains in his interviews. I would say Tom Brady falls on a 7 on the sucks ass scale. I will give him one point for his hot wife and two points for using Aaron Hernandez and Rob Gronkowski. To many quarterbacks shy away from using the Tight end and we all know how much Brady loves a tight end.

8.      Who was the Bengals #2 running back last year?

Bernard Scott

9.      Would you attract bears?

Bears. Beets. Battle star galactica. I have a bag of dried beets in my kitchen and since Bears eat beets, I most certainly attract bears.

10.  F em, marry em, kill em: Marshawn Lynch, Brendan Fraser, Mark Sanchez (please explain)

Kill em: Mark Sanchez, dude needs to stop making dumb decisions with the ball, and just hand it off to Shone Greene. The Jets have a championship quality team, but Sanchez keeps messing it up for them. Give it three games and a few interceptions later and this guy will be dead in NY. TEBOW TIME!

Marry em: Marshawn Lynch, this guy is a man beast. The Bills screwed up by letting this fantasy stud go. Just ask the Saints what it’s like to tackle this guy. He single handedly caused an earthquake in Seattle. Got to marry this beast.

F em: Brendan Fraser, Wants to be a quarterback, movies do not count.

11.  Would you attend a live draft?

Yes Sir!

12.  Please explain your management philosophy in fantasy football.

As I found in years past I like to take the philosophy of drafting and using rookies wisely. This past year I drafted Cam Newton and A.J Green which both successfully led me to the playoffs. Using your rookies wisely is a philosophy that cannot go unnoticed and can give you the edge in your fantasy football league.

13.  What separates a good owner from a great one?

A good owner listens to the experts on ESPN. A great owner does his own research and analysis beforehand. A good owner starts the best possible player. A great owner starts players based on matchups.

14.  Which is more useless? A kicker or a team defense?

The Kicker is the most useless member of a fantasy football team. Kickers are on the field maybe five or six times a game, while a team defense is always on the field. I find that team defenses are more fun and with a good defense, they can carry your team to a win.

15.  If you hit midseason winless, how would you approach the rest of the season?

I approach the second half of the season differently than I did the first half. Obviously things were not working for me in the first half, so I go for lineup changes and look for surprise players in the free agent pool. I still approach each Sunday with the same passion and intensity as I did week one. No one will look at me as an easy victory. I will do everything to destroy your win streak or end your perfect season.

16.  If you were to have a bad year, would you relocate or change your team name?

No, I am not going to be like the Baltimore Colts or the Los Angeles Rams and relocate without letting people know. I will regroup from a down year and come back ready to kick ass in 2013 with the same team name.

17.  Last season both expansion teams missed the playoffs and therefore were unsuccessful. What would you do to prepare yourself for the challenge of a 16 team league with great fantasy football owners?

      As a rookie and a franchise team within the Booper Bare league I plan to make myself successful with rookies and late round sleepers. There is no excuse for being an expansion team and missing the playoffs. I will do my homework and make sure I field a team that can compete each week with the big boys.

18.  Considering we are in a 16 team league, what round should Danny Amendola go in?

Danny Amendola should be a late round pick. He is a guy I would take a chance on in the late rounds, but I would say definitely not within the first seven or eight rounds. He has the chance to be good but there are a lot of better receivers.

19.  This league is about courage and valor, talk about a time when you demonstrated these attributes (you are limited to 2 fictitious elements in your tale).

Monday Night Football on October 26^th, 2009 was a day of courage for myself. I was at FedEx field in Washington for the Eagles vs. Redskins game. In the fourth quarter of a game that the Eagles were clearly going to win I started a “Fuck Dan Snyder” chant. The chant crossed three sections and despite security telling us we could not say things like that or we would be thrown out, the crowd continued. It was the greatest act of valor and courage I have ever done. GM Bruce Allen, who was on the field at the time, gave everyone the middle finger and walked away. True Story.

20.  What comes to mind when you think of the Commish?

Someone that is God like and almighty. You must be courageous and powerful to be a Commish.

21.  Why should we consider you over the other applicants?

I understand the seriousness of the Booper Bare league and want to be a part of such of courageous league. God once said, “The greatest invention of mankind was the Booper Bare League.” I could not agree more.